I used to be fierce.

Once upon a time, I was fierce. I don't mean that I fought a lot, well not physically, but I did fight for things I believe(d) in or against things I am/was certain are/was hurtful to myself or others.

Today, I find myself avoiding phone calls, not opening mail, and staring at a card given to me by a friend, given with the admonishment to not open it until I got home. I am afraid to open it.

I have my intermittent/temporary government job. I have the possibility (if I pass the background check) of another temporary position. Where are the full time jobs?

The desire to be an attorney is pretty much gone now. The degree, the license, they are merely expensive pieces of paper. Expensive in a way that has destroyed parts of my life, parts of my well being.

Damn.