Things could be worse . . .

or could they?

Okay, yes they could. Things could always be worse. But, the same is true for 'better' . . . things could always be better as well.

Last night something serious happened to the engine of my car. I have EXCELLENT friends, who have (once again) come to my rescue. One or two will be looking in depth at the problem, and hopefully fixing it. Another let me borrow her 'extra' car. It isn't really 'extra', it is more of an every day car, but she let me borrow it.

If my life was a dam, it would be leaking in very serious ways. There would be a hundred little Dutch boys with their thumbs in all the holes, with water still seeping through.

Several days ago I lost my eyeglasses. Long story short, they did not turn up and I had to go order new ones. Since it had been 3 years (3 seriously? how time slips by) since I had an exam, that had to happen. I find that near and distance corrective lenses are now required. I cannot wear bifocals. I tried before and was nauseated the entire time. I thought I would get used to them, but did not. I could not afford to get the extra testing, or the distance glasses. So I got only the reading glasses.

I did not tell myself I would be back soon for the distance glasses. Just as today I did not tell my friends that I would 'pay them back' for all the help and favors some day soon. It is horrible, but I no longer trust that the future will be brighter. I went to law school, graduated and am a licensed attorney, making less than I have made in more than a decade. How can I trust that the future will be brighter? For a long time I did, and thought that this or that that could not get done now, would be done soon, because I did the work, the reward MUST be coming. Too many things are on that "will be done soon" list now to trust that they will occur.

Damn damn damn. This loss of hope is terrible. Hope must return.

But, if things happen in 3's, I have one more coming, don't I? Or can I count the eye exam and the glasses as two?